#5 Collaboration: the Magic of Interdependence

The Inroad to Collaboration: Knowing Our Gifts

What does it mean to be collaborative?

When we practice collaboration, we participate and engage with the world around us in generative and complementary ways. We understand that we are all in this together, that we are inextricably linked to each other and every living being. Our decisions and actions are interdependent. We understand that what we do as individuals impacts the collective, and what we do together can be powerful!

Living in collaboration means we are leading our lives in an additive way; we aren’t driven by the fear: “If you have it, then I don’t.” We understand there is enough to go around and that each of us are unique individuals who can’t be replaced or replicated. Why? Because no one will do the thing as you will do it. It’s just not possible. We are all unique and have something unique to contribute. 

Of course there are competitors in the world, and we don’t want to ignore this dynamic. You may create a similar product to another company; however, the buyer who’s the right match will be as unique for you as you are for them. When we can find our unique offering and unapologetically put it out into the world, we are amplifying our uniqueness that is a match for those who value and appreciate it. That’s pure gold. 

The Phantom Fear of Competition

As a coach in the burgeoning coaching industry, it’s easy to look out there and think “wow, there are so many coaches out there—how will I compete with them?” But the thing is, I’m not really competing with other coaches. Someone may choose another coach instead of me, yet approached through the lens of collaboration, I know this means that client wasn’t meant for me and I wasn’t meant for them. If we are ultimately a match, that person will find their way back to me. 

When we lead in this way, we are empowered in our full unique selves and will always receive what is meant for us. We put our unique offering out into the world, rather than dulling our shine by trying to appeal to everyone.

Receiving what’s meant for us doesn’t always look the way we want it to. And if we give it time, when we look back we will see what occurred as a gift. Sometimes these gifts are wrapped in challenge and it takes time to see the positive value. In order to receive these “gifts,” a growth mindset is necessary. 

I want to be clear that healthy competition can be generative. We can push each other to be better and evolve. However, there is a difference between healthy competition and acting from a place of scarcity. Being discerning is essential. 

From Competitors to Collaborators

Part of being open to collaborating in complementary ways is owning our uniqueness and having confidence that no one else can offer what we can. With this understanding, we are more able to embrace that truth that we aren’t really competing. When we drop competition, we can open up to working together. 

You’ll encounter people who aren’t leading this way; you may try to collaborate with them and it just doesn’t land. Part of mastering this way of being is sensing and seeking out aligned collaborators.

Engaging with others in complementary and generative ways is a game changer. It reduces our fearful, deficit mindsets and increases our courage and abundance. 

There are some of us who are wired for collaboration; we love to bounce things off of another person or dive into what’s possible with diversity of thought. In my experience, there is nothing more magical and intellectually stimulating than co-creating together. The perspectives and knowledge others bring can amplify an effort, propel it forward, and make shit happen. 

As with all the resilience qualities, cultivating collaboration is always a matter of both the mind and the body. Sometimes we are afraid to let others in, and it makes sense as there is so much fear and competition propagated in the world. However, we can work with our fear and regulate our nervous system so that our minds can operate clearly. This allows us to tap into our inner strengths and uniqueness with more confidence and clarity. From there, we can discern an aligned opportunity from one that doesn’t work for us. We know when collaborating makes sense for us and when we need solitude or introspection. As we master the qualities of resilience, our skillset is sharpened and our ability to collaborate well is honed.

Working Together Towards a Resilient Future

When we lead with an abundance mindset and a regulated nervous system, we feel secure that we will be resourced, and we don’t need to push other people out of the way to get there. We can work together and we can share what we have because together we can be additive, not subtractive. 

When I think collaboratively, I know that we are all interconnected. The attitude and energy I put out in the world has a ripple effect. How we collaborate as partners, friends, colleagues, community members, nations, and the world creates our reality. If we can each build our collaborative abilities, and thus our resilience, we have the best chance of thriving as individuals and as a whole.

Without each other, I believe that individual and collective success is impossible. 

So when you go out into the world or walk into your kitchen, can you adopt the mindset of collaboration? 

I’d love to hear how you are bringing collaboration into your daily life, leave your comments below!

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#6 Diversity: Thriving Through Multiplicity

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#4 Discovery: Growing Our Capacity through Curiosity