The Secret to Finding Balance in a State of Emergency
HOW DO WE FIND BALANCE AMIDST IT ALL?
The U.S. Election has landed, Covid cases are rapidly rising, and the climate crisis is wreaking havoc around the world. These are just a few of the ‘emergencies’ we are living with right now.
It’s understandable if you didn’t hear that Colorado was on fire, or that the entire Western U.S. was burning (and I’m not referring to the ballot boxes in CA). In the last three weeks alone, we had 5 wildfires rage through Northern Colorado decimating homes and taking lives - covering us in thick smoke, falling ash, and deep sadness. We stood by for 5 unnerving days watching firefighters fight for our lives and homes with their own.
Smoke from the Cameron Peak and Calwood fires - Lyons, Colorado
On day 6, we got the amazing news that our evacuation warning had been lifted. We were safe. I felt like I could breathe again. Big love to the firefighters and all the people who kept us safe and eased our minds by keeping us up to date with timely, comprehensive information. Due to their hard work and a decent snowstorm - we were in the clear (at least for a while - fire season isn’t over yet).
As danger from the fires passed and the election neared, I wondered - will this ever end? My nervous system was in need of a major reboot. It was one-part fatigue and one-part living in a heightened state for the last 5 days.
Whether you are going through a literal or figurative fire - the effects on our nervous system are similar.
Calwood Fire - Boulder, Colorado | Photo: Adithya Uligere
Our body’s chemistry works to protect us and give us the ability to exert beyond the status quo so we can get through it. When we move out of a critical situation, our autonomic nervous system helps to soothe the body and pull resources from areas of stored energy. How great that our bodies are taking care of us, instigating their own balancing act.
But what if we have been living in a state emergency for months? A state that includes emergencies within emergencies? I barely have time to recover from the last one before a new one is right in front of me! It’s important to recognize that our systems aren’t built for extended periods of stress, and that COVID (much like living in a time of war) has been chipping away at our bodies ability to bounce back.
So, how do we restore when we are tapped out AND prevent ourselves from getting there? We give our bodies a boost!
Here’s the thing - there are actions we can take to balance in the midst of an ‘emergency’ and there are grounding tools we can use when it’s ‘business as usual’. Both are important, and practicing in one scenario will strengthen your performance in the other. However, developing a regular grounding practice and creating resilient routines will provide you with more resources to pull from when the s*#t hits the fan. It will also create more balance in your life overall. Let’s dive into some tools for both!
GROUNDING DURING AN ‘EMERGENCY’
Orient. During times of stress, we can get tunnel vision and lose awareness of our surroundings. If we are mentally fixated, this is a good indication that we are not present with our surroundings. Pause, breathe, and take in what’s around you. Notice the details - the colors, textures, smells, and noises. If you get lost in inner dialogue or a story along the way, bring yourself back to the room and keep your peripheral vision activated. This allows us to presence with our surroundings and ground.
Body Presencing: It’s easy during times of stress to be in our minds and out of our bodies. This is another type or orienting - to our bodies. It’s so important to be connected to our bodies as they provide us information on what we need. When we are disconnected, we can unintentionally override critical physical and emotional signals. Being in tune with our bodies is essential for grounding and being present. Below is a simple activity to get us into our bodies.
Body Scan: Breathe slow, deep breaths and bring attention to your feet, legs, knees, belly, and so on - all the way up to your head. You can take this as deep and as slow as you want, bringing focus to your toes, earlobes, tongue, fingertips, scalp. Do you have a sensation in a specific body part? Tightness, fluttering, soreness, spaciousness? Notice them and keep breathing. There is nothing to change or fix. This simple practice connects us back to our body and grounds us.
Movement: moving our bodies is a great de-escalator of the nervous system and can shift the way we feel in an instance. Go for a walk, stretch, dance, bike, swim. Whatever suits you! If going for a long hike sounds daunting, that may not be the answer for you - try a 10-minute walk around the block. The important thing is to bring movement to the body to release stress on a physical and cellular level.
A beautiful day in Lyons, Colorado.
Fear Melters: if you have worked with me, you have almost certainly practiced Fear Melters. This tool, created and trademarked by Katie Hendricks, helps us move through fear. Watch Kate Hendricks demonstrate her Fear Melters! It is based on the 4-fear signatures and it is a game changer! Here they are in my words:
Fight: If you are in a state of fear-fight, you might be angry and instigating an actual fight or you might be fighting on a more subliminal level (e.g. resistance or pushing). A somatic antidote to fear-fight is to ooze. Move your move in an oozing motion as if you were molasses. Notice if there are parts of your body that feel resistance, bring movement specifically to those areas.
Flight: If you are in a state of fear-flight, you might be packing your bags and hitting the literal road or you might be fleeing in your mind to the future. A somatic antidote to fear-flight is sumo. It gets its name from sumo wrestling, both legs are bent and your gate is wider than your shoulders. Place your hands on your hips or thighs, find a point in the room to look at (keeping your peripheral vision activated), and breathe. You can be still or invite gentle movement (as long as both feet are on the ground). If you have knee issues or your legs feel fatigued, remove the bend in your legs and stand up straight, shortening your gate.
Faint: If you are in a state of fear-faint, you might feel lightheaded and feel physically faint or you may be having trouble finding your words or remembering something. A somatic antidote for fear-faint is to do love scoops. Reach your arms out wide and scoop up a metaphorical handful of glowing, weighted energy (Qi) and bring that to your heart’s center. Take a breath, giving the Qi time to land and resonate with your body. Repeat this step bringing healing energy and self-love to your back, hips, head, and so on. Chose the place(s) that feel the most healing to you. And, as always keep breathing.
Freeze: If you are in a state of fear-freeze, you might be physically unable to move or you may feel stuck and unable to move forward in one or more aspect of your life. A somatic antidote for fear-freeze is to wiggle. That’s right, get up and wiggle - bring sound to it if you like. Like the ooze, notice if certain body parts are more resistant to the wiggle, and bring movement specifically to them. This one is my favorite.
GROUNDING DURING ‘BUSINESS AS USUAL’
Awareness. A guidepost for personal resilience is being aware of and acknowledging your feelings. We all have feelings, and guess what? They are all valid. Your feelings may change as you unpack the circumstances around a particular situation and gain new understanding. Alternatively, your feelings may not change the more you learn, they may get solidified or heightened. Our feelings speak to how we relate to something, and primarily stem from early childhood development and impactful experiences we have had throughout our life. Of course, we are all born with inherent personalities that are a driving factor in how we relate to ourselves and others. The point is, your feelings exist within you (evident in their origin) and therefore they are not up for debate. Let’s acknowledge and own our feelings - we deserve it.
Feel. There is no way around this one. When we have acknowledged that we have valid feelings, we gain more access to feeling them. So, how are you feeling? Happy, sad, angry, excited? When we allow ourselves to feel, we honor ourselves and what’s happening for us. We also enable ourselves to process the emotion instead of dragging it around everywhere we go. Do you want to fall to the ground and cry? Do it. Do you want to jump up and down with excitement? Do it. If we are unable to connect with how we feel, we will not be able to heal and show up the way we want to in life. The bottom line is, you’ve got to feel it to heal it - and healing grounds us. If you start to feel and you have a fear reaction or feel overwhelmed by your feelings, slow down your breathing and do Katie’s Hendricks’ Fear Melters shared above.
Body Clock. Did you know that the Chinese Clock, a guidepost in Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture, provides insight into what’s happening for our body throughout the day and night? In its most basic form, it explains which organs are operating at their height during specific times of day. It’s brilliant in that we can optimize our bodies by choosing activities based on the time of day. It combines holistic internal medicine with our circadian rhythm to create optimal timeframes to eat, work, sleep, and play. I’ve been on a mission to align my body clock and I’m already feeling so much better. I’m starting with my sleeping and eating cycle and going from there. Give it a try and see what lands for you!
Screen time. Put down your screen at least one hour before you go to bed and wait to pick it up back up again until one hour after you have been awake. This allows our nervous system to settle down at night and appropriately rise and prepare us for our day. Even better, ditch your screen for longer. Our bodies can easily overload in our device-driven culture. I’ve started reading again at night and I am loving it. Do you have something you have been wanting to read?
Essence Pacing. Do you ever feel like you are moving or talking too fast or too slow? Everyone has their own unique essence pace - the optimal pace that you move through the world - and it’s important to know what that is. We each have a slower end and a faster end to our optimal pace. When we are functioning in our sweet spot, we remove the external pressure of time, and can achieve the feeling of timelessness. So how do we find our essence pace? We can thank Katie Hendrick’s for the concept and the following exercise:
Practice walking around the house, exaggeratedly speeding up and slowing down, until you find the pace at which you can walk around and notice things, but not get fixated. Your optimal pace will feel effortless, aligned, and grounded. You will know when you have found it. Where you operate from within your optimal range will vary from day to day. You may also notice that your partner, friends, or colleagues have different paces than you. It’s important to bring awareness to our own essence pace and to others as conflict has been known to arise from simply moving at a different pace. I’ve done this exercise with my husband and it’s enlightening.
It’s so important to take the time to feel the losses, move through our fear, and process what is happening around us. It is critical to integrate grounding tools and implement routines that provide balance in our lives, particularly in times of stress.
As we go through these tumultuous times, may we all find some ground within ourselves. Sending love to each and every one of you!